7 Habits of a Highly Ineffective Conversationalist
1. Be a terrible listener. To you active listening means mumbling "uh huh," on a good day.
2. Have it always be all about you. If ever it isn't, change the topic back to you stat. If they try to talk about something that isn't about you, check your phone, look at your watch, or otherwise show your displeasure.
3.Start selfish conversations where the other person can't respond, be it a story about someone they don't know, a relationship they aren't involved in, a dream you had, or a movie or tv show they haven't seen.The key here is that there is nothing they can contribute and it will be a monologue they have to listen to and let nothing stop you from telling the long version.
4. Take offense whenever possible and argue just to hear your own voice.
5. If numbers 1-4 fails to get the conversation back under your control, remember that you left your stove on, that you must be home in time for a critical illness your Grandma is about to have, or that you have an urgent reason for sympathy you need which trumps whatever the other person is saying. By all means,interrupt!
6. Be a bottomless pit for sympathy by constantly having a problem that is urgent and trumps anything they may want, be it help, relaxation, or just to have a fun time or pleasant conversation.
7. If items 1-6 fail, blame the other person in a dramatic display. Make it your mission to contribute more drama to the world than Broadway, London, and the Internets combined. I mean Reality Show level drama. Also, this includes blaming the other person, calling them selfish, and telling them they aren't a good listener or are selfish for not complying and fulfilling all of your needs regardless of the fact they most likely never agreed to.
I'm guilty of all 7 at times, but not so often that I can't laugh about it.
2. Have it always be all about you. If ever it isn't, change the topic back to you stat. If they try to talk about something that isn't about you, check your phone, look at your watch, or otherwise show your displeasure.
3.Start selfish conversations where the other person can't respond, be it a story about someone they don't know, a relationship they aren't involved in, a dream you had, or a movie or tv show they haven't seen.The key here is that there is nothing they can contribute and it will be a monologue they have to listen to and let nothing stop you from telling the long version.
4. Take offense whenever possible and argue just to hear your own voice.
5. If numbers 1-4 fails to get the conversation back under your control, remember that you left your stove on, that you must be home in time for a critical illness your Grandma is about to have, or that you have an urgent reason for sympathy you need which trumps whatever the other person is saying. By all means,interrupt!
6. Be a bottomless pit for sympathy by constantly having a problem that is urgent and trumps anything they may want, be it help, relaxation, or just to have a fun time or pleasant conversation.
7. If items 1-6 fail, blame the other person in a dramatic display. Make it your mission to contribute more drama to the world than Broadway, London, and the Internets combined. I mean Reality Show level drama. Also, this includes blaming the other person, calling them selfish, and telling them they aren't a good listener or are selfish for not complying and fulfilling all of your needs regardless of the fact they most likely never agreed to.
I'm guilty of all 7 at times, but not so often that I can't laugh about it.
Posted by Testy Redhead at 28 Jan 2010 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: itsallaboutme.com human tricks teams Career fun with listening
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: itsallaboutme.com human tricks teams Career fun with listening
That was fun. If I had better self-awareness I might see myself reflected there. Thankfully I am not so blessed
Reply to this
I read about how boring it is when women talk about their cats and totally blushed. I DO go on about cats.
Trying to work on being concise as a speaker and more active as a listener.
Reply to this
To me an ineffective conversationalist is someone who has no interest in what I am saying.
Someone who is just head nodding long enough to feign interest in what I am saying in order to interject with their own unrelated tale. This speel will usually star them in the role of being brilliant \ rich \ handsome \ charming and/or more clever than their boss.
Life is too short to put up with tossers like this hence the gentle art of lying and running away
Reply to this