Falling into Change
Today I found out that I've been impacted by a company reduction in force. In other words, I'm sitting here with a paper that says on the top, "What To Do Next for Terminated Employees on Transition," that some well intended HR person put together for me to stare at after getting this shocking news. Now, I realize the economy is a rough one, and I've been through this more than 5 times already in the nearly 10 years I've been an employee at Adobe, although this is the first time I've been one of the laid off group. So, the paper tells me some good things. For example, I have LOTS of notice. So much notice in fact, that I have a job until June 1st. It is early November. I am thankful to my company both for the ten years of treating me so well and growing my abilities and also for the kind severance and notice that so many testers do not get at other companies, especially in this tough economy.
Last fall and winter was spent in limbo in our household, with money so tight that I didn't get a haircut even for months. Craig had the same situation I do now, where he would report to work and it would be something like, "Good work, rest well, We'll most likely <strike>kill</strike>fire you in the morning." The whole time Craig was told he was NOT impacted. (yeah, when your whole team is dismantled and you have become the computer repo man rather than a coder, how exactly is that not impacted? I think they meant "at least you get a paycheck" but that didn't sound good.) Luckily for us, Craig got another job before his job actually ended and we celebrated like crazy. As hard as last winter was, and it was SO HARD, it turned out for the best and Craig loves his job now. He works on the Bing.com team and I can tell you, they are a good team! I know because I use the maps when Google is wrong (which is more often than I'd like to admit).
It appears this fall, winter, and early spring will be spent in limbo again, only this time for me. There is a very slim chance that a position will open up I can apply for, as I am an employee in good standing with a high performance record and good last review, but odds of a job in quality coming open? Not good. I am going to investigate every option.
I have had a job since I was 15 years old. I don't know how to not work. My cats may end up with a wardrobe if I don't find a job. And then there is the whole "feelings" thing. I know it is silly, but I feel betrayed and a bit hurt, as well as sad that I won't really enjoy celebrating my 10 years with the company. Perhaps this is just my ego speaking, but I feel sorry for the company as a whole. The company has lost many talented people, and many of the most passionate quality advocates. As my best friend put it, "I kind of thought they would bury you there you were such a dedicated employee." Well, I'm not foolish, I know that people don't usually retire from one software company. They get laid off, they move on to something else, or they retire from the industry as a whole.
Anyhow, I'm thankful. Very thankful that I have so much notice. I have severance pay, savings, and time to find other work. as well as a boss who will give me an internal reference if anything opens up. I have a supportive partner who believes in me. In fact, he told me today that the only thing I need to worry about is what the right thing is for me next. What I WANT to do, because he won't let me fall. He told me that he believes there are many teams that need an experienced quality lead with tons of ideas for testing integration and advocating for a quality user experience. He also reminded me that I'm just starting to explore the possibilities of writing and presenting, and that those skills do matter to some companies.
There were a few tears shed on my desk today, sinking in, but they weren't shed for me. I have faith that I'll find the right next assignment for me, and I'll be stronger for it. Tonight I'll have a glass of wine with Craig and when I toast it will be to new opportunities. I'm reminded of my favorite quote tonight.
Change is inevitable; growth is optional.
What to Do Next for Terminated Employees on Transition? Well, that isn't going to come from a sheet of paper, but they couldn't quite write that now could they?
Last fall and winter was spent in limbo in our household, with money so tight that I didn't get a haircut even for months. Craig had the same situation I do now, where he would report to work and it would be something like, "Good work, rest well, We'll most likely <strike>kill</strike>fire you in the morning." The whole time Craig was told he was NOT impacted. (yeah, when your whole team is dismantled and you have become the computer repo man rather than a coder, how exactly is that not impacted? I think they meant "at least you get a paycheck" but that didn't sound good.) Luckily for us, Craig got another job before his job actually ended and we celebrated like crazy. As hard as last winter was, and it was SO HARD, it turned out for the best and Craig loves his job now. He works on the Bing.com team and I can tell you, they are a good team! I know because I use the maps when Google is wrong (which is more often than I'd like to admit).
It appears this fall, winter, and early spring will be spent in limbo again, only this time for me. There is a very slim chance that a position will open up I can apply for, as I am an employee in good standing with a high performance record and good last review, but odds of a job in quality coming open? Not good. I am going to investigate every option.
I have had a job since I was 15 years old. I don't know how to not work. My cats may end up with a wardrobe if I don't find a job. And then there is the whole "feelings" thing. I know it is silly, but I feel betrayed and a bit hurt, as well as sad that I won't really enjoy celebrating my 10 years with the company. Perhaps this is just my ego speaking, but I feel sorry for the company as a whole. The company has lost many talented people, and many of the most passionate quality advocates. As my best friend put it, "I kind of thought they would bury you there you were such a dedicated employee." Well, I'm not foolish, I know that people don't usually retire from one software company. They get laid off, they move on to something else, or they retire from the industry as a whole.
Anyhow, I'm thankful. Very thankful that I have so much notice. I have severance pay, savings, and time to find other work. as well as a boss who will give me an internal reference if anything opens up. I have a supportive partner who believes in me. In fact, he told me today that the only thing I need to worry about is what the right thing is for me next. What I WANT to do, because he won't let me fall. He told me that he believes there are many teams that need an experienced quality lead with tons of ideas for testing integration and advocating for a quality user experience. He also reminded me that I'm just starting to explore the possibilities of writing and presenting, and that those skills do matter to some companies.
There were a few tears shed on my desk today, sinking in, but they weren't shed for me. I have faith that I'll find the right next assignment for me, and I'll be stronger for it. Tonight I'll have a glass of wine with Craig and when I toast it will be to new opportunities. I'm reminded of my favorite quote tonight.
Change is inevitable; growth is optional.
What to Do Next for Terminated Employees on Transition? Well, that isn't going to come from a sheet of paper, but they couldn't quite write that now could they?
The company I work for is looking for a QA Manager: http://www.infojobs.net/malaga/quality-assurance-manager/of-i835545305155883447114941472625
It's in Spain, though
Good luck!!
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For what it's worth, with that kind of warning, you are in a prime position to actually think about what you want next, which is AWESOME. Rely on your contacts, get tips from people who are good at finding jobs they like, and you will find what you need. I totally get the hurt emotions too -- I went through that at a place where I was hit by the fourth of five layoffs and it is very hard not to be personally affected.
Carry on, and good luck! Please do not stop blogging
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Thank you so much! I do feel very lucky to have the time and support to find the right path for my career where my skills can do the most good.
I woke up feeling energized and optimistic. I know somewhere there is a team out there who values quality and has some complicated integration and cross product testing that the need a strong quality lead with experience to get started, and build a top notch quality community around. One of the top skills I have is bringing people together for events and learning and I think that skill is rare enough that I can find a company that really needs that mixture of technical and soft skills.
I remain a tester with a point of view regardless of where I'm working. I'm going to continue blogging and hopefully will have some interesting assignments in the future. I'm feeling really hopeful about the opportunities to come. Being pushed out of the nest may hurt, but this is a chance to soar before I hit the ground.
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I know you and your skills, and I don't think you will have a problem finding a job. Reach out to your network and we'll see what we can do
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Thank you! I would like to learn new things. I've never worked for a smaller company before and think I would like building up a small test org more than just being a cog in the machine. Somewhere that I can still write and present, and bring in great thinkers in testing to have a good impact on the testers. The care and feeding of individual QEs matters greatly to me, and doing so on little to no budget, just with effort is something I'm up for.
The good thing about me is I'm looking for the right opportunity, not a huge salary. I want a the right job to call home for my learning and growth, not just to earn tons of money and move on.
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Lanette--
I've only had so much exposure to you, but in that small amount of time, I've come to know a lot about you - not facts, as much as your character. I believe you are a lot like me, in that your personality is so big (for lack of a better term), that it comes across in everything that you do -- your career, your writing, your presenting, your tweets, even. I feel I've come to know you, 140 characters at a time.
This hurts, and you are allowed to feel that. It's kind of like when a guy we didn't like anyway breaks up with us first; it still hurts, because we didn't do it.
In 2006, I decided to take risks more. I am a single mom and had stayed in a job out of the uncertainty that leaving presented. My best friend applauded my risk-taking.
I have to tell you, I have come SO FAR since then. I have made connections with people I previously thought of as out of reach, and I have learned that I can run with the big dogs. I went to Agile 2009, and was amazed at the people who told me they read my blog and had looked forward to meeting me! *ME*!
My underlying goal has always been to help people, and in my risk-taking I have reached out to a far greater audience than I would have if I had stayed on the same path.
Your passion and ability to relate to people has made you an instant figure in a Twitterverse that I have personally taken years to build. Take advantage of that. Figure out what you want to do and start posting about it (twitter, your blog...). I would bet my first born child (maybe I can get rid of him *this* way!!), that you'll have several options in no time. Keep going to conferences - I've had several opportunities present themselves through people I met at conferences.
This is the time for you to find your *dream job* and to become all of the things you have always thought were way far off in your career!
In the past 3 years, I have learned over and over and over again that the only thing keeping me from being everything I have ever wanted to be is .. well ... me.
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You have no idea what a compliment it is to me that you believe I am much like you as I admire and respect your work.
I hope that I can say in years to come that this was the catalyst to positive change and that I was brave and I kept my passion for software quality through difficult changes, and that rather than hiding and nursing my wounds, that I added my voice to the chorus of others who are dedicated to making a difference in software.
Now, more than ever, I am glad that I made this blog about my testing and not just a company blog. As much as I appreciate my company for giving me a good foundation in software testing, for giving me a start, and for inspiring me with software I love, they are unable to keep me in the quality group at this time. I understand the decision they made, while I don't personally agree with it, I do see and appreciate all of the other times they had to make a choice and decided to keep me. I think they did appreciate my hard work and loyalty even if we have to part ways this year. The truth is, they can have many testers who code at another location, and they can get new college graduates cheaper than they can keep me.
I think how we behave when our survival is at stake shows our character. It has been hard to see the quality methods I care most about reduced to a shadow of their former strength. I am in great company in this layoff as some amazingly wonderful and talented people I'd pick first for any test team will be gently tossed out onto a velvet pillow. It is a grave loss to a company I love, but I'm glad it is me and not someone with little support, and I'm thankful for the pillow.
My testing legacy lives on in the database, in the 50+ products I've shipped since starting there, and I'm proud to have been a part of the success of Adobe just as it has grown me from a shy young girl from Sumner, WA, to a confident woman who has traveled to many countries and enjoys speaking to a wide variety of interesting people. It will be hard to leave a job that I loved so well, but I am glad to be leaving on good terms and hope to keep it that way so that when I stop by the area I can come visit with a smile and share future adventures with the friends I value here at work. There are certainly worse ways to leave a company than with a good reference, a long transition, and severance, and I am thankful for sure.
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Lanette-
Thank you
When this hurt has passed, I am happy that you will be able to come back and read this post. You will then also see the strength in your own words!
A couple of years ago, I was working for Symantec. It was a job I had never thought myself good enough to land, and yet I did. I worked there just 2 months and 1 week, when they announced that they would close the building. Many in my building had been with Symantec since they first opened there, many years before. What I learned from that experience was this: It's not personal, it's business. They didn't make the decision because you were not good enough.
What mattered during Symantec's layoff was the *people*. The group I worked with at Symantec have remained close, they *really* lived the "family" that other places just pay lip service to. To this day, 2.5 years later, they *still* support each other, passing on job opportunities (even when they themselves might be going for the it), and getting together for drinks every few months.
Today, I celebrate that I had the opportunity to work for Symantec. That means something, just as Adobe will for you. People will see that and immediately know your caliber is head and shoulders above their average candidate.
It sounds like you have been able to really flourish there, and I have no doubt that you will retain your passion for testing, if not strengthen it. For me, connecting with other major testing authorities has solidified that this is what I am supposed to do. Each conference I go to energizes me and refreshes my desire to teach, coach, and *inspire* others to follow their passions! I am honestly glad to have wandered into your life at the beginning of this ride.
I have a habit of putting quotes all over whiteboards and cubicles that strike me for whatever reason. This one, a line from an Incubus song, seems to describe the way I am trying to see life right now (I've been on a wild ride lately!): "Life is a roller coaster, and I am not strapped in. Maybe I should hold with care, but my hands are busy in the air!" (Love me some Incubus)
No doubt, all of the things you hope for above will happen. In the mean time, take the time to feel the hurt, nurse it a bit, and then let it go. I'm looking forward to hearing you speak about this experience one day as the springboard for the great things you are about to do!
*hugs*
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Are you looking to stay in the WA area or interested in relocating?
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I'd been thinking about relocating to Portland or Northern/Mid California in the future, but since Craig really likes his job on the Bing team, unless he could transfer or had an opportunity to take on a job in the area I'm not sure it would be realistic for me. He's a build engineer and quite a good one.
Thanks for the question. It's a very good one. So, my summary is, it isn't very likely that I would relocate, but it's also not out of the question. I'll be looking in the greater Seattle area first.
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So not, say, Washington, DC...
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Oh John, gotta love ya! You're like the Little Engine that Could!
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I am never without hope!
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I was just in the same situation for the first time in my career (laid off in May, last day was in October). I now work for a local test lab that has contract openings from time to time. Let's stay in touch. In the meantime, there's SASQAG, QASIG, and SeaSPIN (3 local dot-orgs) that talk testing and are great for networking. Also, get writing on a testing book. Your blogs are great!
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Hi Jon,
I've seen you speak twice and I always love to year your ideas. It is really encouraging to see that you've bounced back and continue to participate in conferences and the quality community. I will check out some of the local happenings beyond just the geek girl dinners to see what I can learn.
Thank you for the writing encouragement! My first article is due soon, so I'd better get on it. Starting small with the writing.
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Being laid off can't be fun, but you seem to have taken exactly the right attitude.
You mention working with a smaller company and building a team - Building a test team from scratch is tough work, but immensely rewarding. You'll likely find yourself with a lot of education on your hands, both with the testers that you bring in and with everyone else around you.
The great thing is that it will constantly give you cause to look at how you think about testing. If anything the problem will be you'll have too many ideas to write about and present and nowhere near enough time to do it.
All the very best with the job search. Odds are it will be a short one. I'd offer assistance, but you're probably not interested in moving to Japan.
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Hello Lanette,
I just heard a recording of your talk about test case bloat that you did at Microsoft. I work in the ASP.NET QA team and we are going through the same problem as you where in Adobe, I found your paper right on the mark
Our team has openings, we are based in Redmond. If you are interested just drop me an email, I would be interested in chatting with you.
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