I wrote an email yesterday that got results. Yes, on a Sunday I wrote an email and as a result, two of my neighbors ended up in my livingroom giving me a high five and we are getting together in a few weeks to have a wine tasting in celebration of some positive changes that are being made in the neighborhood.

Two years ago I could not have written an email with that result. There is no possible way because instead I would have been.

1. Avoiding conflict.
2. Beating around the bush (not getting to the point).
3. Escalating anger and riots with a snarky response which while it may have been funny would NOT have been productive.
4. Rambling on for 2 pages writing a charming but unconvincing prose filled page.

So, what has changed? How did I go from writing a totally ineffective email to one that not only got across the key points, but gained promoters who are now friends and also support my ideas? It is only through the mentorship of some amazing test managers who both by example and feedback have helped me gain a few skills. When you get an email or there is an issue you strongly disagree with, here are the things that have worked for me.

1. Respond while it still matters. Time moves fast. People move on. You may need to take 15 minutes to calm down, but when it is really important waiting 24 hours may mean your response is irrelavant. Don't react out of anger, but respond in a timely manner. Do not put off responding when it is important. This could not wait even one more day because I wasn't willing to dream about it at night.

2. Don't take it personal and don't make it personal. If you are defensive, offensive, or just clueless you aren't going to be effective. There is never a reason to be unkind, personal, or use a low blow. I'd say not taking it personally is really really hard and I'm only just now getting some practice at it. People with self-esteem don't take it personally even if it was intended to be. A confident person can take an insult and put it in context. That's just the opinion of one person. Don't let their opinion define reality nor should you assume that your opinion IS reality or can define their reality.

3. State your assumptions and your intent. Don't make it a guessing game. If there is a common interest or even somewhat of a shared goal, state that.

4. What's in it for them? Why should they care? This information should be on a silver platter.

5. The bottom line is now the top line. (Thank you to Laura Browne who taught me this). People hate reading. The conclusion should be the first line of the email right under your greeting.

6. Details should be labeled as details, contain a summary of the numbers in an easy to read format and if you are asking for a decision, make sure the data is easy to compare.

Example: Package A is $### or 2.5% of our overall budget and will take 21 total person hours. Package B is $### which is 9% of our overall budget and will take 4 total person hours. Package C is $### which is 20% of our overall budget and will take 6 person hours but comes with unicorns and rainbows which aren't offered with the other packages.

7. If you are making a recommendation or including your opinion, state that so that it is clear that you aren't telling other people what to do without consideration.

Example: After reviewing the data, I recommend  that we consider Package C based on the savings of 15 person hours. While it is more expensive, the bonus of  Unicorns and Rainbows offers a significant increase in overall value.

8. Ask for what you want. Do you want feedback? A decision? Just to share your opinion? Ask for what you want and specify when. The trick to this is be sincere. People can smell BS a mile away. I said, "I want you to consider my recommendation." Had I said instead, "I just want to share my findings with you." that would be insincere and lower the impact of the email even though it's technically true.

9. Be appreciative and persistent. No one likes a spoiled toddler. If you are told no and don't get your way, never ever throw a tantrum. Just say, "Thank you." and try again. No just means "not right now, in this context, with these people, in this situation." When you can't change minds, change the context. Change the situation. Sometimes the problem isn't the idea or even how you're conveying it, it's that you are talking to the wrong person or even the right person at the wrong time.

10. Follow up. If you don't get a response in email, try a phone call. If possible, show up in person. There is obviously a limit, I mean, don't stalk people, but realize that sometimes when an issue is important or uncomfortable it's easier to "not respond".

So, what emails have made you feel very proud? Care to share with me? What are your tips to get action from an email? I don't mean scare tactics, but what techniques do you use to encourage cooperation, persuade others, and lead change?