Feedback is always useful because it's information, but it's only useful if you consider the source. How do you go about addressing concerns and complaints that other people have? What if everything you do to address their concerns just backfires and anytime you interact with them at all it gets worse and you don't know why?

What if you have to defend, define, explain, backup, and triple check every thing you ever do or say but they don't? The balance of power is not in place for a fair debate, my friend. Don't be fooled. Professionally there is no room to be defensive if you get "other than positive" feedback in any area. Suck it up, say thank you, and ask for details if possible, but sometimes, just a thank you is the best you can do. I've seen different ways of handling this in the past. As a team, if this happens higher up in an org, the culture changes to one of top down feedback only in some cases, because that's the only direction that "matters", or people game the system as they find how it's measured. How about when the effort you put in to please the person and talk in their language is dismissed entirely? What about when you find out that you have no voice? Well, you stop for one. You stop entirely because you are at the end of usefulness for that one way discussion and you take it. Then you get back up.

Why? Because you are resilient, passionate, diverse, have more than one stakeholder. You get up because others are counting on you. You don't take it personally because it is just business, it really isn't personal (even if it IS about personality). If one direction fails, you try another. If you can't please some people no matter how hard you try, you please enough of the others to make their opinion less relevant. For every detractor you may find, you are going to need about 10 very strong supporters. I don't mean networking when you need it. I mean you are holding up others when they NEED it. They can count on you. You helped them at every turn. Why? Because you have ethics and you spend your time trying to be positive and helpful and honest. For each bad thing you say, you need 10 good things I estimate. In some situations you just can't win. For them is it just about winning? Can you give them the, "You win" that they need and move on? Can you find other stakeholders?

A female executive who I admire told me last year, "Never let the opinion of one man stop you." To make a difference you need visibility. With increased visibility will come more feedback, both positive and negative. All of it can be of help in context, but none of it can make or break you. One man's opinion at one point in time should not be enough to stop you if what you are doing is of importance. If it does, was it really that important?

There's a huge world outside of the door of your office, cubicle, or laptop and it's full of all sorts of ways to spend your time and brainpower. If you find out one way of spending it is simply going to fail, you can get back up and change direction. Change happens at companies every single day and you have a chance to be a part of good changes, but you can't be if you let failure engulf you or force you to stop. Grace in the face of criticism is a mandatory attribute to have as a person who desires to make a positive impact in software quality.

As a tester I've had a great year in many ways, with one key regret. It seems I've learned an equal amount from all of them.