Never get too comfortable. Always be looking to the future.

This is advice I take to heart, but I'm not sure how to express it sometimes. I'm still learning and growing. I wonder if it really is ok for me to continue working in a job with the same name for so long. It's been since 2006 and my job title hasn't changed, but my abilities and duties certainly have. I'm happy with what I'm doing, but I feel like I can do even more. I want the chance to do more. I've tried asking what I have to do to get more opportunity and the answer I hear back is that I am doing these things and I am performing well. That I have to keep my eyes open for an opportunity. I have even asked flat out if I need a different degree in order to go further. I don't believe this has anything at all to do with my gender or me personally, but with the software industry.

I think I need to search inside myself and figure out how long for. How long does the "grow, prove yourself, wait and see" last for? Is 5 years too long with the same job title? Have I already hurt myself by waiting too long? Has my company loyalty limited my potential career? Would I do better to get some variety of experience? I am so deeply invested in my current company and I love the software we make. I always thought that was a great asset. Now I'm not entirely sure that it hasn't clouded my logic. Did I already choose wrong? Some of my favorite people, people who have talent more in line with my kind of talent have already left QE and gone to Program Management. Am I making an error by not transitioning my love of the software we make to a different position? I flat out love doing testing. Is that no longer important?

I've been asking these sorts of questions. I asked this week if it was important that QE Developers know how to use our software and can advocate for the customer. The answer I heard back was not what I had hoped for. I heard that QE Developers need to know testing so that they can understand THEIR customer, which is the "product tester".  Ok, but since all product testers also must code, shouldn't all coders also know the product? Apparently it isn't that important.

When I see survey results change in terms of employee satisfaction, I wonder, how much of that is change in employees and getting rid of anyone who isn't satisfied or doesn't agree? How expensive was that turn over? I mean, I hate working with a bunch of negative nellys myself, but replacing independent thinking collaborators with yes people is dangerous to the company and bad for quality. This is the way of business, I know it, but it does feel wrong to me. Overall, I very much trust the decision makers at our company. They make good business decisions. I sometimes feel like the right business decisions for the short term are not good decisions for long term quality.

I'm getting these things out of my head because I have to be positive. When decisions are made that I don't agree with, I realize I have to focus where I can make a meaningful impact on future quality. I take my responsibility to fight for better quality very seriously.

While approaching a new corporate year, I'm feeling really good personally and inquisitively confident. I'm feeling like whatever happens, I will react and my future will be bright. My worries are for my company which I still love, and I wonder by deciding I want in for another year if I'm harming myself. I know I'm not harming the company by staying, in fact, I'm confident I'll be able to be a big positive in my org this year by bringing passion, excitment, and new ideas. Will it hurt my long term potential to do it?

How long will I feel like to some extent I'm waiting in the wings? I hope some day soon I post here that I've taken a new position in the company and that it is a huge challenge for me, but I'm happy to have the chance. I want to do something that really tests the limits of what is possible for me. Can I find that chance in my current position somehow? In many cases I've had great support to try new things from my managers which has really helped me grow. Right now, the closest I've come to getting in over my head is by presenting outside of the company for the first time. It could be that the only opportunities that exist are not going to come to me. If so, I'm going to find a way to come for them. But for now, I'm watching, I'm waiting, somewhat patiently.