Today was a brilliant day! I had a wonderful day of work in every way. Dinner was fantastic. Even the cats behaved well.

So why did I just go on a 5 minute swearing tangent including writing hate mail in my mind?

Because it just took me 5 minutes to get a hyperlink into my Word 2007 document. Brilliantly, even the help menu was hidden to protect me from peril!! Hooray! Nothing on the context menu indicating that hyperlinks exist even though I have text selected and a hyperlink on my clipboard. I also need a psychic friend to paste special. Also, hyperlinks are now considered links and not "text formatting". Ok, that makes sense, but since when did Word try to make sense? They have gone so far protecting me from menu items that I can't do anything. It's sort of like the fine security we got with Vista. A great idea, but I'm so safe I can't do anything in this straightjacket. Little harm of me hurting myself (or getting any work done). Someone, please take the protective lid off of my spork?

I casually bring up my lack of joy with the new Word. The TWO users who used to work at Microsoft tell me they LOVE this interface. *blinks* *stares blankly more* I have no response for that. They have some very powerful kool-aid over there. Either that, or it's their policy of hiring only very very smart people. I will admit that both of these people are much more intelligent and patient than I am. They are quite amazing that way. That does however, make them sort of aliens in the American culture. I call this calm rationalization a problem of sick pants. I can't spell sycophant without a dictionary, so I call it sickpants. Too many smart people loving eachother. No one willing to remember that users may HATE your clever idea. This is why you need some testers willing to point out the naked regent about to stroll down the street even if it is career limiting. I want to shake the hand of the one MS tester (most likely a contractor who can't code), who brought up that in the future some crazy redhead who's been using word since the DOS days is going to go on a 5 minute tangent and hate this so much she will blog about it and scare other people. Maybe enough people love it that it was worth making me hostile. Somehow, I'm guessing on that particular product they have more upgrade users than newbies, but that's just a guess.

Well,  I suppose at least people notice it? And have a strong reaction? I just want to see the percentages. I'm thinking there are more users with the hatred that I have than the joy and love that they are showing, but perhaps I'm a small (and admittedly ranting) minority.

Here's some background. I stopped watching Lost after the first episode. I do not want to be toyed with. I am not entertained. I know it's a vastly popular tv show, but not everyone loves it. The second they sucked that guy through the airplane engine I rolled my eyes and I was out. Fool me once, shame on you. I didn't come back to be fooled twice. Who are these people who find it fun to feel bad and be tricked? There must be many of them because horror movies are also wildly popular.

I have to stay with this version that I despise. How do I get my menus back so that I don't end up having to go to relationship therapy due to my "angry outbursts"? I may have to seek support in user forums or start using Wordpad and forsaking Word again.

And how do I convince my well intended UI Designer friends that this is no way to treat loyal users and they should never ever do this to the software I love. Really. It may be hip and trendy, but it is cruel. While it may be well intended, and new users may enjoy it, this old dog wants to use this software as a fire hydrant.