Some of you may consider this blog quite off topic, because it is very personal. I want to share with you my survival strategy for some of the biggest problems I've ever faced since I've been testing, and none of them were testing related.

The following things happened in a 12 month span of time my 3rd year as a perm employee with a software testing job:

1. I was in intense chronic pain, and going to the doctor often, with no cure AND no definative diagnosis in sight. I'm not talking a little bit of discomfort. I'm talking about laying on the floor and crying, trying not to panic type pain. I was very worried that I was going to become fully disabled as it kept getting worse.

2. My marriage was totally falling apart and soon I was getting divorced, and 2 months after the divorce, my ex-husband remarried to someone I knew. I would go into more detail, but then it would seem even more like Jerry Springer, so I'll stop right there. Ultimately, it was the best thing that could have happened in life, but at the time it was rough.

3. My grandmother passed away.

4. My mentor, the first person to teach me how to test, who I credit with the fact I ended up staying in test and actually HAVE passion for it, died suddenly.

5. Major layoffs. I've survived 5 layoffs at my job. I have no doubt that part of this is luck. I understand that in software I am far more likely to be laid off than to retire from the industry.

So, in the face of all of these issues, I made it through that year and managed to do a decent job of taking care of myself, healing, and getting work done. I'm proud of the testing work I did during that time.

Things that helped:
a) Tell your manager if you are facing a very difficult problem.

b) Do NOT cry in your office. Go into the bathroom. I'm sure some of the people at my work thought I was developing IBS or something during this period of time, but really, if you can't leave your drama at the door, at least try to set up some sort of no crying zone. I'll add to this, carry eye drops, take some time to calm down, get it together, and come out once you are calm. If you are female (such as me), some under eye concealer in the purse is always a plus. You are testing, and can't do a good job if you are hysterical emotionally, so you might have to work later if you aren't able to focus for part of the day.

c) Work early or late if you need some alone time. This is one of the perks of testing at some companies, so use it when you can.

d) I set up a meditation area in my office to help with pain control. I would take 20 minutes, lie on the floor, and do pain meditation.

e) GET HELP. I did research and ended up finding the best pain management doctor in my state. I credit him for protecting my brain while getting my body pain under control to the point I can function. I also did some therapy to help with the grief and other changes. There is nothing at all shameful about getting help.

f) Distract yourself with research and finding very interesting bugs. During this time I cultivated a talent for corrupting documents which I have really enjoyed doing ever since. I would take out as much hostility as possible on the software I was testing, and any bug I created that was so much drama it made my life seem simple in comparison was very pleasing.

g) Be gentle with other people. The world stops for no broken heart. It may be cold, but if your life is falling apart, you are the only one who can fix it. You can't bug it and wait for a fix. What you can do is use the experience gained and regression test your life. Am I ready to accept some harsh changes? Do I trust myself to survive? Have I seen this pattern before, and if so, what should I have done last time to investigate it?

h) Never forget the people who were there when you needed them most. In my case, this was family, friends, and even a few co-workers. While I know it is very taboo to bring home problems to work, there is only so much seperation possible at times. Those kinds of friends and supporters can't be bought. I won't ever forget that I owe them. My loyalty can't be bought, but it certainly can be earned. I try to make sure that I return the favor and will be there if ever needed.

i) It doesn't make you a bad employee if you don't come to work totally detached. I am one human and I believe that I don't have "work" and "home" portions. If you hire me, you get the whole package. I'm not a different person at work. I'm a sincere, caring, and intense person. I take my personal experience, passion, emotion, and everything and put that into the job that I do. I've been picked apart for that a time or two, but I also know a few people who appreciate working with someone who honestly cares, is fully present, and is comfortable being themself at the office. I'm not creating a work persona. I'm creating a person I can like and respect for any environment I end up in.

j) Be prepared to be laid off. Seriously. Save some of your money. You can't work feeling like the axe is above your head. You will panic and be desperate, and nothing is less attractive than a spineless person desperate to survive. It is hard to respect someone who will do anything for a dollar, or will cover their butt at all cost with no regard for the people around them. Be strong. Be mentally attractive. Don't sell your integrity down the road because you could lose your job. Don't settle for doing something you hate or don't have talent in. You are better off to just quit and find another job, because employment is at will on both sides and there is no such thing as a job that lasts forever. Just because you have a different color on your badge than someone else doesn't mean you are any more long term. This could all be over tomorrow.

So, to summarize, this is the very worst time in my life as a tester that I'm rehashing for you. It is not to whine or complain, but just to share my experience. Soon I'm going to write the other bookend, otherwise known as "The Best of Testing Times". I've had a great time testing so often in my current job that I have to share some of the fun stories with you as well.